Today I am 5 weeks pregnant. It still does not feel real to me. It's almost like this whole experience has been an out of body one sometimes.
I am so excited and so terrified all at the same time.
Still feeling pretty nauseous, and now I have the added joy of my boobs hurting. all.the.time. Over share, I know, but this is what this blog is about!
I have a Doc appointment scheduled for the 18th of November. By then I will be 8 weeks on the dot.
Craziness.
5 weeks along
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Symptoms
Maybe I was naive in thinking that my pregnancy (ies hopefully someday!) would be just like my mother's. But, I hoped nonetheless.
She never had even a hint of nausea in all of her 3 pregnancies, and felt so energetic and motivated, she said it was great.
Well, already I have experienced smell aversions, nausea, fatigue, vivid dreams, not sleeping well and generally feeling fat. My jeans don't fit! How is this the case already? I am only 4 weeks along! (The whole 4 weeks thing, when really I have only been pregnant for two because of ovulation is all kind of weird, but that's another post). Apparently with the influx of hormones comes a constant state of PMS-type bloat.
The waves of nausea hit like a ton of bricks and then are gone within a few minutes (usually). But, this is a very new and strange world for this girl with a cast iron stomach. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times I have thrown up in my adult life. Ugh. I hate throwing up, so hopefully it won't come to that.
I am probably being naive again, but if I am, don't say anything. I beg you.
4 weeks, 6 days
She never had even a hint of nausea in all of her 3 pregnancies, and felt so energetic and motivated, she said it was great.
Well, already I have experienced smell aversions, nausea, fatigue, vivid dreams, not sleeping well and generally feeling fat. My jeans don't fit! How is this the case already? I am only 4 weeks along! (The whole 4 weeks thing, when really I have only been pregnant for two because of ovulation is all kind of weird, but that's another post). Apparently with the influx of hormones comes a constant state of PMS-type bloat.
The waves of nausea hit like a ton of bricks and then are gone within a few minutes (usually). But, this is a very new and strange world for this girl with a cast iron stomach. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times I have thrown up in my adult life. Ugh. I hate throwing up, so hopefully it won't come to that.
I am probably being naive again, but if I am, don't say anything. I beg you.
4 weeks, 6 days
Monday, October 25, 2010
In the loop
So, I told the hubs last night! He is so excited!
I took him dinner on the barge, and while we were eating a friend came by...and continued to sit and chat with us for the next 2 hours. He was such a nice guy, and H had no idea that I had anything of importance to tell him in private...so we sat, and chatted. Finally, when I got the chance I took out his "anniversary present". He was so mad at me, since he didn't have the time to get me anything, that he almost didn't open it. He felt awful.
But, I insisted. And I kept saying "I only spent $5". Which is true. Earlier in the day I went out and bought something that only cost about $5. I have video of him opening it that I will try and post, but for the imagination, it is the tiniest little onesie in the NWU camo pattern, with a little Navy emblem on the chest.
He opened it and looked at me, with a questioning glance (this is where the video cuts off...I need to investigate the issue on our camera) and then breaks into a HUGE grin and starts repeating, "are you serious????"
He came over and gave me the biggest hug, while I just giggled and laughed and smiled and all together felt crazy and unsure of myself. And then, then he slowed down and looked at me and said, "I love you so much, and I am so happy."
And with that, my heart melted and I no longer felt so unsure.
18 DPO
18 DPO
Friday, October 22, 2010
A different answer.
Well folks, this morning I took a test...
I am a little in shock. I guess my instincts a few days ago about not being pregnant were a bit off. I haven't told anyone yet, not even the husband. Ack! So excited!
This morning, I don't know, I just felt like maybe I should just go ahead and do it - take the test. I have been crampy for the last few days, and even though I kept expecting my period, it just never came. Fertility friend "suggested" I take a test two days ago and I hadn't.
I figured it would be no big deal, so I got up this morning and let the dog out. I headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower to warm the water while I rummaged for one of the pregnancy tests I bought in bulk when they were on sale at the commissary. I took the test, got up to grab a towel and glanced back. The directions said 3 minutes. Within 10 seconds there were two pink lines. Clear as day.
I leaned forward to the windowsill, and blinked. Rubbed my eyes (since I am irresponsible and sleep with my contacts in pretty often) and looked again. There they were. Two pink lines. I stood up straight immediately and gasped. "Could it be this easy?" I thought. Apparently.
I am trying not to count my chickens, as they say. I have known too many friends who have gone through rough early pregnancy complications...but right now I am just feeling so, so blessed and thankful.
Sunday is the husband and I's 10 year date-iversary. I think I will surprise him with the news then.
If I can keep it in.
16 DPO (Days Past Ovulation)
and it was positive!
I am a little in shock. I guess my instincts a few days ago about not being pregnant were a bit off. I haven't told anyone yet, not even the husband. Ack! So excited!
This morning, I don't know, I just felt like maybe I should just go ahead and do it - take the test. I have been crampy for the last few days, and even though I kept expecting my period, it just never came. Fertility friend "suggested" I take a test two days ago and I hadn't.
I figured it would be no big deal, so I got up this morning and let the dog out. I headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower to warm the water while I rummaged for one of the pregnancy tests I bought in bulk when they were on sale at the commissary. I took the test, got up to grab a towel and glanced back. The directions said 3 minutes. Within 10 seconds there were two pink lines. Clear as day.
I leaned forward to the windowsill, and blinked. Rubbed my eyes (since I am irresponsible and sleep with my contacts in pretty often) and looked again. There they were. Two pink lines. I stood up straight immediately and gasped. "Could it be this easy?" I thought. Apparently.
I am trying not to count my chickens, as they say. I have known too many friends who have gone through rough early pregnancy complications...but right now I am just feeling so, so blessed and thankful.
Sunday is the husband and I's 10 year date-iversary. I think I will surprise him with the news then.
If I can keep it in.
16 DPO (Days Past Ovulation)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Round 2
I haven't written on this little blog in a while. Like a month, hm, weird. This is mainly due to my new job at work which has me drowning in students. Yikes.
But, also, I don't really know what to write about. I know, I know - write about your feelings. But, I don't really know how I feel. So, stream of consciousness it is. Here we go:
I am not sure if I am preggo'd or not this month. I don't think I am, but I haven't had any below the line temperatures. And, I ovulated early. Weird.
Our timing with this whole rolling the dice thing has not been great, so while there is a chance, it is definitely not as likely as if we were trying. I find myself getting a little more annoyed with this whole "rolling the dice" thing. My type A personality is beginning to rear its ugly head. I mean, are we trying or are we not?
The whole point of this thing was to avoid the crazy, but I think we could be trying without being crazy. It certainly couldn't be worse than how crazy I feel debating whether or not I should say "Husband, don't freak out, but it's a good day, so let's go." This whole guilt of knowledge and seducing my husband because I want to or because I want to get pregnant, gah. It's too much.
For him it is rolling the dice. He doesn't ask, and he doesn't know. He doesn't see my charts or temperatures or whatever. He is just free and easy. Oy.
I try to talk to him about this and tell him how I feel, but he says we are talking about it too much and this is the whole point of this approach. But, I don't think he gets it. I can't stop thinking about it. I have to at least once every day as I enter in my temps. And then I am wondering about all the random little symptoms.
It's not like it is a constant, but it fleetingly enters my mind throughout the day. Mainly because it is my body and I have no idea what is going on in there. I swear I am not crazy, in fact I feel pretty darn relaxed about the whole thing, but since we aren't really sharing this news with anyone else, I would like to share it with him.
Sometimes he is up for it, but more often than not, he just groans and says "We talk about babies too much" But, then he says things like "Halloween will be so much fun when we have babies" and blah blah. I know he wants them, but he is weird about it. This is also how he was about weddings right before he proposed. Hmm.
In any case, we are still trucking along in life, we still have a great relationship, and this hasn't really affected us, which is great. I just find myself trying to constantly analyze why he doesn't want to talk about this as much as me. I am sure it is a normal man thing. I heard once that "a woman is a mom from the second the second line on the test appears, and a man is a father at birth" So, maybe that's it. Who knows.
Also, I went in for my annual gyno exam. AWESOME. Everything looked great, and when I mentioned we may be trying soon the doc said, "Everything looks good, so have fun". GAH.
Side note: This doc also delivered my friend's babies and MY SISTER. So, he has seen the nether-regions of my friend, her two daughters, my mom, my sister, and now me. Weird? I think so.
I think that's all I have for today.
But, also, I don't really know what to write about. I know, I know - write about your feelings. But, I don't really know how I feel. So, stream of consciousness it is. Here we go:
I am not sure if I am preggo'd or not this month. I don't think I am, but I haven't had any below the line temperatures. And, I ovulated early. Weird.
Our timing with this whole rolling the dice thing has not been great, so while there is a chance, it is definitely not as likely as if we were trying. I find myself getting a little more annoyed with this whole "rolling the dice" thing. My type A personality is beginning to rear its ugly head. I mean, are we trying or are we not?
The whole point of this thing was to avoid the crazy, but I think we could be trying without being crazy. It certainly couldn't be worse than how crazy I feel debating whether or not I should say "Husband, don't freak out, but it's a good day, so let's go." This whole guilt of knowledge and seducing my husband because I want to or because I want to get pregnant, gah. It's too much.
For him it is rolling the dice. He doesn't ask, and he doesn't know. He doesn't see my charts or temperatures or whatever. He is just free and easy. Oy.
I try to talk to him about this and tell him how I feel, but he says we are talking about it too much and this is the whole point of this approach. But, I don't think he gets it. I can't stop thinking about it. I have to at least once every day as I enter in my temps. And then I am wondering about all the random little symptoms.
It's not like it is a constant, but it fleetingly enters my mind throughout the day. Mainly because it is my body and I have no idea what is going on in there. I swear I am not crazy, in fact I feel pretty darn relaxed about the whole thing, but since we aren't really sharing this news with anyone else, I would like to share it with him.
Sometimes he is up for it, but more often than not, he just groans and says "We talk about babies too much" But, then he says things like "Halloween will be so much fun when we have babies" and blah blah. I know he wants them, but he is weird about it. This is also how he was about weddings right before he proposed. Hmm.
In any case, we are still trucking along in life, we still have a great relationship, and this hasn't really affected us, which is great. I just find myself trying to constantly analyze why he doesn't want to talk about this as much as me. I am sure it is a normal man thing. I heard once that "a woman is a mom from the second the second line on the test appears, and a man is a father at birth" So, maybe that's it. Who knows.
Also, I went in for my annual gyno exam. AWESOME. Everything looked great, and when I mentioned we may be trying soon the doc said, "Everything looks good, so have fun". GAH.
Side note: This doc also delivered my friend's babies and MY SISTER. So, he has seen the nether-regions of my friend, her two daughters, my mom, my sister, and now me. Weird? I think so.
I think that's all I have for today.