Friday, November 30, 2012


I had another post (or 4. Those dang "bumpdates" are getting away from me again!) planned for today, but then something changed.

I had a bad dream last night.

Like, one of those super vivid, really long and involved, detailed and straight up WEIRD pregnancy dreams, that wasn't quite  nightmare, but woke me up with feelings of anxiety anyway.

Thankfully, it was 5:28 am when I woke, and I could feel husband stirring next to me in the last few minutes before his alarm. I made him snuggle me for the remaining two minutes before his alarm began chiming.

I won't go into details about the dream itself, mainly because it was insane and just like any other dream, the details began to fade just as soon as I awoke.

But the feelings, those feelings remained long enough for me to feel the need to thank my husband for what he does to provide for us, and to inspire this post today.


I have had a few, well, rough days this week. If we are friends on the book of faces, you already know that yesterday my sweet daughter went from a perfectly happy mood one moment in Target yesterday to the most ridiculous meltdown she has ever had in probably her entire life.

In the main aisle.

As we approached the checkout.

We are talking loud screams, LOUD screams, tears running down her face and splashing onto the cart, snot bubbles, stiff body arching...the whole nine yards. About what? I have no idea.

But it was enough for me to wheel her into the corner by the cat food and try to stand my ground about her not being able to stand up in the cart. And to you know, not give into some ridiculous tantrum, etc.

I won't say I was embarrassed, per say, but I was certainly bewildered, and I wished I had a better explanation for the (what seemed like) 200 other moms with perfectly nicely behaved toddlers sitting in their cart baskets than the shrug and look of confusion that I did have at my disposal.

The tantrum lasted 30 minutes or so? Yup. Seriously.

So, that was fun.

But before that, earlier this week, I had a few tough days too. This pregnancy I have had a LOT more mood swings than when I was pregnant with Ev. And on Sunday, after a few bouts of crazy tears, and generally just feeling down and in doubt of myself and my ability to parent TWO babies - my husband actually ordered me out of the house for some alone time.

This from the man who "understands" my occasional requests for alone time, but still doesn't really get it looked at me and said - "You clearly need a break. Why don't you go shopping or something?"

He was right, I did need a break, but it still didn't solve my mood.

So, I have been in a funk.

Stressed about all of the things we need to do before this baby arrives, concerned about the constant state of messiness in our house, disappointed by the fact that we sometimes go out to eat three days in a row because I just can't get the energy together to make a decent meal in time for a decent bed time, and still having anxiety over moving my baby into a big girl bed, though she has been doing surprisingly well.

These are all things that I know would be minor on the stress scale if I weren't pregnant. I consider myself to be a person who is in pretty good control of my emotions (except for that one time in Groups class in grad school) when I am not pregnant. I have pretty good perspective and once I get my feelings out, then I am fine. But, in this pregnancy, those coping skills haven't always worked the same.


This dream though. This dream finally seems to have snapped me out of it.

After waking up, I am still just feeling so grateful for all that I have in my life. As hard as it is somedays.

So, though I did not participate in the Facebook "post something you are thankful for every day" business (I knew I would never keep up with it) - here, on the last day of Novemeber, are just a few things I am so very thankful for in my life.

  • My husband. He seriously knows me better than anyone else, and though (as my friend and I were just chatting about last night) sometimes I feel the strong desire to send him out to "play in traffic" I am so grateful to have met him and to have his life intertwined in mine for 12 years. He is the funniest person I know, is becoming more of a cheesy and devoted father to our daughter every day, is a happy and supportive provider for our family, and makes me feel loved, even at my very worst.
  • My daughter. She brings a smile to my face and laughter to my lips every single day. She makes my heart sing and fly and ache, sometimes all at the same time, just from the looks that she gives me. I adore the way she is learning so much from the world around her, and the tiniest connections she makes and immense pride in herself that she feels when learning or accomplishing something new makes my whole being just surge with love for her.
  • Baby Bump. Though pregnancy is admittedly not my most favorite state of being, the though of another little life in there, growing perfectly, makes me so grateful for all that I am continually given in this life. The emotions and glee at feeling this baby kick me from the inside never fails to make me chuckle to myself and wonder at all the possibilities that await this little life that we are all so excited to meet.
  • The ability to stay at home. Though some days I feel decidedly ungrateful about the fact that I don't have an office to escape to, or a crowd of colleagues to chat with at my disposal - or you know, just some computer time where I don't have to bat toddler hands away from the keyboard...I am overwhelmingly so amazed that I get to spend all day every day with my baby girl. There are no "mental breaks" in this job and it is undoubtedly the most challenging job I have ever had. Ever. But, I enjoy a challenge. And I enjoy the hell out of the flexibility and possibilities that are afforded me in this role. The tiny moments that I get to be a part of, both good and bad, have taught me more than any other experience in my life - and I use my education from all those other experiences every day with Evelyn.  I know so many women would love to be in the position to make this same choice, and though it is not without sacrifice, I am continually amazed that I am here, living the life I dreamed about when I was a little girl. It is easy to complain about it, just like any other job, but I really try to actively recognize the privilege that it is, along with the challenges.
  • My friends. I have never been good at keeping in touch with my friends. It is legitimately one of my biggest faults as a person and probably something that I feel the most guilt about. It is now worse than ever because I don't keep the same schedule with the majority of them. It is so much harder to jump on gchat and check in. But, when I do get to talk to them, I am always so grateful to have been able to meet these people in my life. The varying perspectives and experiences that I get to hear about make me think and feel like I am still engaged in adult topics, though so much of my mind at this stage in life revolves around "baby things". I am also so grateful that they give me so much grace on the whole keeping in touch with them thing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  • My parents. I can always call my parents in a crisis. Or on a bad day. or on a good day. But seriously, though I would never describe my parents, as many do, as my "best friends" (because they are my parents y'all...not my friends) they provide me support and encouragement in the best way of anyone in my life. They are the most concise perspective givers EVER. I can rattle on and on about a problem, and they chuckle and give me one sentence of advice that seems to just clear everything up and settle the issue. I don't know how they do it, but I am grateful for that all the time and can only hope to be able to give my kiddos that same perspective as they grow.
Naturally, I could go on and on, but this post is already a novel, and it is FRIDAY.

Thanks for reading, just writing this post has been cathartic and encouraging.

Have a GREAT weekend friends!

Evelyn Rae is 16 months old, I am 29 weeks along with Baby Bump

...and I am also so grateful for technology and blogging. I would have one hell of a journal if this space didn't exist for me, I will tell you that.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

29 weeks

Ok. Legs are still SUPER sensitive. Really any areas that I am shaving. Right. Moving on. I found this post from Pioneer Woman about something similar so...I will try it and see if it works.

You know, GAINING WEIGHT. As you are supposed to, BLAH BLAH. BUT, I passed my glucose test! Yay! So glad I don't have to do the three hour one.

Eh. Food. I am starting to feel so freaking full by the end of the day that I just don't even want to think about food, or cooking dinner, or eating it. BLECH, food.

Definitely experiencing some RLS and twinges here and there.

Sleeping just doesn't feel like it the nest day, I am starting to be so, so tired again. BOO exhaustion! I have too much to do and you are making me even more emotional.

Ugh, annoying. I have begun propping myself up a bit more at night to keep the reflux at bay. Have sat up a few times in the middle of the night because I feel like I am about to puke. Just reflux. No bigs. WHOMPS.

Fetal Movement
LOTS of movement which is making the reflux worse, but I forgive you little baby, because I am just so tickled to see you kick me so hard! Evelyn has seen my belly move like that a few times, since she is super obsessed with my popped out belly button, and always looks at me like "WTH."

The Girls
Meh, same. I think I am maybe starting to produce a little colostrum again though.

New this time around
MY BELLY BUTTON POPPED. It has been this way fro a bit, but I seriously thought it was just because the baby was facing one way or something...nope, officially popped. It never did this with Ev, so I find it adorable and new. Plus, Evelyn loves it. And then loves to raise her shirt and play with her own belly button.

Oh yeah, this again.
Heartburn, emotions. WHOMP WHOMP.

Mental State
I have had a rough week friends. I will probably blog about it more (UPDATE: I did. Here.) but the emotions have been rough with this pregnancy. Working through it. Ugh, tears and such.

29 weeks, last go round

Evelyn Rae is 16 months old, I am 29 weeks along with Baby Bump

...and hey! Look! Christmas decorations! (Don't mind that the tree has no ornaments yet...)

Throwback Thursday: A Day in the 'Peake

Back in August, thanks to my friend Jessica, I was reminded about a few things that our old town of Chesapeake had to offer for a fun family day.

For example, I was reminded just how good Mr. Jim's sandwiches are. And then I reminded my husband. And then a few days later, in early September, we found ourselves spending a day in the 'Peake.

At Mr. Jim's.


Surprisingly they also don't have high chairs or booster seats at Mr. Jim's, 
so Ev got her first taste of booth sitting.

After we enjoyed our yummy sandwiches, we headed out to Bergey's Breadbasket. This place was the absolute star of drives from Great Bridge to the beach and back during the summers in high school. The ice cream? TO DIE FOR.

But we will get to that a little later.

First, we went to see the animals.

Ooooh, Daddy! Look! Over there! 

Excuse the gratuitous walking photos...Evelyn had JUST started choosing to walk over crawl. And, being the parents we are, we were naturally tickled.

See? Look how tickled that Daddy is. 

Onto the main event.

Ice Cream.


More please.

Yup. That's the stuff.

Then we just lingered a bit to enjoy the nice day.

All in all, a great day in the 'Peake.

Evelyn Rae is now 16 months old, I am 29 weeks along with Bump

...and these photos make me a little sad. Those shoes! That outfit! Neither fit her anymore. Thank goodness for the photos.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


Real post coming later.

But friends, I had to tell you.

In a whisper.

Last night...we put Evelyn in her big girl bed.

Then we left the room.

And she went to sleep.

On her own. Quietly.

In her Big.Girl.Bed.

You know, the one she could have climbed out of, but didn't?

Holy crap y'all.

Please let this be a sign of things to come.

But shhh. Don't tell anyone. And knock on some wood for me just to be safe.

Evelyn Rae is 16 months old, I am 29 weeks along with Bump

...and YAY!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Plus One.

I did make one more thing for Thanksgiving.

Just a little headband.

I really just wrapped a cheap plastic headband in brown ribbon, made a flower from that same ribbon and an old button, one from fabric from the dress, and of course a burlap one.

As I said in this post, I was hoping baby girl could wear the dress I made one more time.

Just styled a little differently.

Throw on a little ribbon belt and some leggings, and it is perfect for stomping around the yard...

...or letting Daddy throw leaves at you...

...or playing with sticks...

...or digging in the dirt...

...or crushing all those leaves that we really need to rake...

...or just playing with your puppy.

An outfit like this is even good for climbing all over patio furniture.

Evelyn Rae is 16 months old, I am 29 weeks along with Baby Bump

...and on nice weekends, this is what we do.