Welcome to Crazytown.

Both my kids are teething.

BOTH kids.

Low grade fevers, snotty, whiny, sad babies in pain. Waking up in the middle of the night. One baby wanting nothing but to be nursed all day and the other trying to push him out of the way to crawl on my lap.

At the same time.

I am so le tired.

And yet - and this is how I know I have crossed the bridge into Crazytown, USA - it is sometimes in the most chaotic and babies crying and snuggling and snot covered moments...That I feel most sure that I want more babies.

Is that weird? Some kind of weird immersion psychological syndrome that I am experiencing?

No? Yes? Who knows.

I am so tired. And exhausted.

And I want more.


Not right now.

{God, please, not right now.}


But eventually.



Evelyn Rae is a big , bad, two year old growing some molars, and Liam is seven whole months old growing some tiny, shiny top front teeth (I think).

...and we will try this whole blogging thing again next week.

Seven Months

My Growing (way too fast for this Momma to keep up) Boy,

Well, here we are again. Another month gone by. And you are SEVEN months old. I don't know exactly why, but this just seems so...grown.

Perhaps it is all the mobility that you continue to amaze me with these days. You have gone from standing up against something for a few moments - if we placed you there - to pulling up all on your own! I am still so surprised every time I leave you alone for a second and come back to see you standing. 

You have continued your push up crawl, though you mix it in with a traditional crawl these days as well. It seems that you favor whatever you feel will get you to your intended destination the fastest. You are moving mainly toward things to climb upon, which has made for more than one spill and tumble this month, that is for sure. The other day, you pulled a twelve pack of water over while trying to stand up on it, causing the cans inside to roll all over the floor and around you. Total time I turned my back? About ten seconds, you little mischief maker. I am still not used to you being so quick!

You still love your bouncer and are showing much more interest in toys these days overall. You have always liked them, but thankfully haven't had too many favorites as your sister likes to show you how to better play with the toys that you do gravitate towards. Now you are showing more and more interest in her toys and we have to make sure to keep everything very separate since you want to put all of her play food right in your little mouth...much like the cookie she thought you would enjoy for this month's photo shoot.

 Overall you are enjoying a bunch of real foods too! We still gave you a few purees at the beginning of the month if you got frustrated at meal times, but overall you are rocking out with solid foods. You are a much, much messier eater than I remember your sister being, but I also got to let her be naked most of the time, so that may have had something to do with it.

Now that you have to get to go with me for preschool drop off and pick up every Tuesday and Thursday, we all get dressed right away - at least twice a week. We've only done it twice now, but it is definitely a little harder getting out the door than Mommy anticipated.

You are growing like a weed, thanks to all that food, but you are still a string bean. You have been filling out clothes a little better and becoming more "dense" (as your Daddy likes to say), but you are still a skinny baby. Alas, it appears that I may never get to have babies with those juicy chunky thigh rolls...if you and your sister are any indication. Your feet, however, are definitely taking after your Brawford middle name. They are getting longer and longer by the day!

You are becoming more and more independent these days, especially with all of your newfound rocking and rolling. We have been hanging at the park quite a bit and you love the swings. I love your happy giggling self when you feel that rush of wind on your face. You have started to lean out of my arms more and more, seemingly saying, "Ok Mom, let me explore a bit." Which makes me crazy proud, and crazy heartbroken all at the same time. Bittersweet.

Thankfully, for a little while longer, you seem to be most content close to and hanging out with Mommy, though Daddy is coming in at a close second these days, which I know he is excited about. I know the time is coming that needing to carry you about and hold you all the live long day is only going to be here for another short eye blink, just don't make it too fast, okay?

I love you to the moon and back.

All my love,

Momma


Evelyn Rae is two years old, Liam is seven months old

...and I hope I can keep him in the frame for the rest of this series.

A little ahead of myself.

So, remember how I said that this was going to be my 500th post?

Well, turns out I am a too busy to look at the details, barely glancing at the fine print, kinda gal. 'Cause...it's not.

It's my like 483rd post or something.

The 499 was including all my unpublished drafts, yadda yadda yadda. Turns out I was all stricken with anxiety over my big 500th post ideas for naught.

And, thus ends your moment of Courtney stupidity for the day.

What this means instead is that I can post a whole lot more before worrying about that fun post and that I have more time to figure out how the heck I want to comemorate it.

I am a big celebrator of milestones.

It sort of drives my husband crazy.

{Remind me to tell you about the time that we had been dating for six months and was totally crushed that he thought nothing of it. He later tried to logic his way out of it because "anni = annual = yearly, not half a yearly." Sadly, he still did not win that discussion because it was being had with a 16 year old girl, to whom six months is a BIG FREAKING DEAL.}

ANYWAYZ.

Moving on.

I am super behind on my monthly posts for my darling little man, so those are all coming your way, as well as some plans that I have been working on behind the scenes for this here space, and all those home projects you have been hearing about for years on end and have never been shared (hello Evelyn's big girl room), and you know, whatever else pops into my not-so-little head.

I can say this will all be coming at you with confidence because FRIENDS.

FRIENDS.

Do you know what is great about school?

It helps you achieve NORMALCY and a SCHEDULE.

AND OMG I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

{this definitely merits all caps}

I have alone time with both of my babies scheduled into my week now and all of a sudden there is BALANCE IN MAH LIFE.

...and, that's all I've got this morning.

BBL.


Evelyn Rae is two years old, my darling, bouncing baby boy is SEVEN MONTHS OLD TODAY, WTH

...and yeah. A SEVEN MONTH OLD.

First Day

Today, I dropped my little girl off at her very first first day of school.

Preschool, that is.

I had butterflies in my stomach and wasn't sure how I would manage maneuvering a toddler, baby and the huge bag of required supplies down the itsy bitsy corridors of our adorable school, let alone the butterflies due to watching my girl face her first big, step out into the world moment.

I wanted to be calm and cool for her though, so I faked it a bit. I held her hand and as we walked toward the door, she pointed at other little ones on their way in, exclaiming "Fwiends!" 

Little by little my faking lessened. 

She took a tumble outside on the sidewalk and scraped her knee. As she frowned a bit and asked me to pick her up...

{sure kiddo, I'll carry you and your brother and this huge bag o'stuff and hopefully not take out any of the other tiny humans running everywhere}

...I thought, "Uh oh - that's it, now she is going to lose it and all this careful build up of excitement is going to come crashing down around me."

But as we approached that sweet little classroom door, she started straining her neck to see what all the commotion was about.

And as we walked through the door, well, that was it.

She was hooked. 

"Down, Mommy" she said quietly in my ear. 

And I obliged. 

I watched her meet her teacher and walk right over to a table with puzzles and books.

She looked at another little girl sitting there and said, "Hi, I Evie." 

I saw my little baby walk right up to another child in her class and introduce herself. 

No prompting, no hand holding, there she was. 

Making her way in the world.

I quietly watched her from the corner as I unpacked the school supplies and put them in the specified containers. She was happily playing and engaging already. Smiling at the teachers and other kids. 

I debated whether or not to even say goodbye. Would I ruin it if she knew I was leaving?

In the end, I couldn't stand to not say something, so I made my way to her, gave her a hug and a kiss and told her to have fun. She kissed me back and turned to play, without a second glance.

I was so amazed and awed by her confidence and how proud I was of her, but I didn't cry. 

Neither of us did.

And so, just like that, here we go.

Evelyn Rae is two years old, Liam is almost seven months old

...and y'all. This is post 499 on this little blog, which has left me with a severe case of writer's block and anxiety over the last week on what the heck to do for post *500*. I'll think of something. 'Till then.

Parenthood

It is currently 12:41 am.

I am writing this in my warm, cozy bed. My husband snoring softly next to me.

(I mean softly in the most manly way possible, that is. Right.)

See, every night, Liam wakes up around midnight for what I like to call a "top-off" feeding. Sometimes a little sooner, but generally somewhere between 11:40 and 12:05.

(When you haven't slept a full night in six months, you get pretty precise about this shizz.)

But tonight?

He hasn't.

Still, I don't sleep.

At 12:05, I was surprised that he had yet to wake.

I'll give it five more minutes, I thought. Then, then I am going to sleep.

But five minutes came and went. And then five more.

And here we are.

Because, I know, I KNOW, that the second I snuggle down and doze off...right in that place between dreaming and awake...

(Where Julia Roberts Tinkerbell will always love Robin Williams Peter)

...that is when he will want his top off.

And waking up then is so much worse than just staying awake for a little extra time and playing on the interwebs.

(Holy all things boy band - did you see the NSYNC reunion moment this evening?!?)

So, here I sit.

In bed.

Tired, ready for sleep, and waiting.

I'm giving it five more minutes.


Evelyn Rae is two years old, Liam is six months old

...and this, this is parenthood.

Sleep.

Man, do I need some.

{Don't we all?}

Here's the thing.

Liam is still not sleeping through the night.

Dun dun dun.

We had such a good schedule going, almost right off the bat. He woke one time - every night - right about the same time, would eat and go back down. But, as the developmental milestones approached and he grew and became more aware...he started waking MORE.

Oy.

Eventually we were pretty much cosleeping with him.

Don't get me wrong, I loved me some cosleeping. It was so freaking convenient for nursing and sleeping and snuggling and baby smells and hey, I was somewhat coherent when the toddler awoke at 6:30 even though (just like a boy) Liam wants to stay up and party and then sleep until 10.

{Spoiler Alert - "Sleep when the baby sleeps" does not work when you have a toddler running around too.}

Even though we had Evelyn in our room when she was this age, and I would pull her into bed for a feeding - she went right back in the cosleeper we had. And, she was fine with it.

Liam? Not so much. Little man seems to be a total Mama's Boy so far. He wants all night access to the booby bar, and between his wakeups and Evelyn being...you know, a two year old...I will freely admit let him do whatever helped me get the most sleep.

He was straight up in bed with us. And he LOVED IT. Like, when asleep, if I scooted away from him, he would reach out a leg to touch me and make sure I was still there. If he could touch me, he would stay asleep - if not? Boom. Wake up, cry, you'd better feed me NOW WOMAN.

I was getting sort of antsy about it. I looked at the Pack and Play set up in our room and thought, why the hell do we even still have this thing taking up space in here? He is NEVER IN IT.

{Though it does make a pretty convenient bedside storage unit.}

Until I talked to my Grandma. I thought she would be straight UP IN ARMS about how unsafe, blahbity blah. And then she shocked the hell out of me and said, "Oh, of course! ALL MY BABIES SLEPT IN BED WITH ME." And by that she means all SEVEN of them, folks.

So, I settled back down and enjoyed all the cuddles. But, eventually, we decided - much like his sister - it was time for him to be in his own room, in the crib, all night long.

We started with naps and that went amazingly well.

But bedtime? Bedtime is still a struggle.

We are working on it, doing the shuffle. Keeping him in his room. Man, oh man, is it hard to keep that baby in his room. At four am, with an extremely sad faced baby staring at you? Crying at you? And you know that if you would just nurse him, he would go back to sleep so quickly?

That's hard enough. I remember that.

But then add in that he is crying and may in fact wake your toddler? And that you can't comfort both of them at the same time, so then you're going to have to call in your grumpy reinforcements (aka Daddy)?

Yikes.

All in all, I am seeing the improvements. I am reminding myself that I am teaching my son a skill. I am not being mean, I am helping him learn. And that trying to learn and understand new concepts is always a little bit frustrating.

...and it helps to remind myself that when you are six months old the only method of communication is sad faces and crying.

{He was only a month old here, his sad faces now are much more sad. And loud.}

So, we will be staying close to home this week - and try, try, trying to settle back into a schedule since those pesky teeth have arrived and SCHOOL starts in two weeks for Miss Evelyn Rae.

Oh, sleep.

Someday we will be friends again.

I sure hope it is someday soon.


Evelyn Rae is two years old, Liam is six months old

...and if these photos are new to you, you should probably be following me on Instagram.

Six Months

Liam,

Hello once again, my darling little man. It is here! Your half-year birthday. Six months old and as adorable and happy as you've ever been. I simply cannot believe you are now closer to one than I care to think about.

Like your sister before you, we had a small little half birthday party to commemorate this momentous occasion. And, like your sister before you....everyone enjoyed the cake, except you. Sorry, bud. You'll have to wait for your actual birthday for that one.

We did, however, let you start n few weeks early with some solid foods. You just seemed to want to eat so.badly that I couldn't stand it anymore. I tried a few purees with you and you gobbled them down like gangbusters, so then I grabbed some Mum Mums and you gobbled those down too. So then we switched gears right over to BLW solids like we did for your sister. Your actual first food, even before the purees, was a slice of grilled bell pepper. We were eating steak fajitas and you kept trying to grab it from my plate (because naturally you were in your favorite place - on my lap) so I sucked off the seasoning and handed it to you. And man, did you go to town mashing and gnawing that pepper.

You were aided in your mashing and gnawing by your two newest possessions - your bottom teeth! Hooray for you! They came in within one day of each other, and your poor miserable little mouth was so much happier, and we have a small break in the "everything in the mouth all of the time" routine. Maybe.

You have been looking so big and strong and independent this month. You have been standing against everything and trying to reach up and pull up to standing from sitting. Your sitting is even more solid and your tummy doesn't seem to bother you as much lately. You have begun sitting in the front of carts thanks to some solo trips to the store with Mommy, but you also have gotten to sit up there when big sister wants to be a BIG GIRL and walk alongside the cart.

(Sometimes Mommy needs to keep you both contained and she rides happily in the basket as well.)

We have been chatting about all of the big kid stuff that we will need to be doing for you soon, like getting a bigger car seat and all that. I have started leaving your infant carrier in the car the majority of the time and treating it like a convertible car seat anyway, because you are just too dang heavy!

You aren't really a huge fan of being in the carseat lately and that is because you are on the move! You are rocking out the mobility with what your Dad and I affectionaely call  your "push up crawl" which is sort of a mix between crawling and scootching. It is pretty funny to us, but you make some good time with that little maneuver.

You have gotten your belly off of the floor and have been trying to do a legitimate crawl, but so far, you always go back to the good ol' push up crawl routine.

You really love standing and you really, really, love to bounce, so you spend  good portion of time in your bouncer. So long as someone is in the room with you, you are content to explore and play and bounce and bounce and bounce.

You are just the happiest little baby and you are so, so very happy when you have slept well. Which...is a struggle. You still don't consistently sleep through the night which is quite honestly driving your Mom a little batty. We have started you in your own room at night and naptime consistently since we got back from Wisconsin and you have great nights and not so great nights. I have been trying and trying and trying to get you on a schedule before your sister starts school and ballet next month, because then we will have actual places that we need to be (every week! ack!), but you are resisting with the best of em.

You sometimes take killer naps, and sometimes they are twenty minutes. You sometimes sleep through the night and sometimes you wake up three or four times. (Thankfully there aren't too many of those nights.) Sometimes, you fall asleep peacefully and easily on your own and sometimes you fuss and cry forever until you are held or nursed. There just seems to be no telling with you, my son. But, we shall keep at it. You are trending more and more toward sleeping through the night, but I am scared to even admit that publicly for fear of the backlash of the moon and the tides or some planet in retrograde or something.

You, my son, are just the embodiment of silliness and joyfulness here as of late. You make your Daddy and I swoon with your coos and giggles and your sister is officially smitten with you (when she isn't tattling about you trying to touch HER toys, that is...) Even the puppy is warming up to you quite nicely now that you have real food to share.

You bring so much laughter into our house and I can't imagine our family without your precious little soul inside of it.

All my love,

Momma.


Evelyn Rae is two, Liam is six months old

...and he is looking so, so grown these days. Be still my heart.