The Birth of Evelyn Rae: Epilogue

Get caught up:
{Part One}
{Part Two}
{Part Three}

{Part Four}
{Part Five}
{Part Six}

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**Note: The entire birth story has been added as a tabbed page on the blog. It's long, but that way my husband, who hasn't read the story or looked at the photos yet (slacker) can read it all at once. Or you can too, if you want to. ;) **

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Shortly after Evelyn was delivered and we were cuddling with her, my sister in law went out to notify the parents!

During this time I got to do some fun other things like deliver the placenta, get a tiny stitch for my tiny tear (Yup I tore a little bit thanks to those dang shoulders coming out on their own), and chat with the nurses about bleeding, etc. 

When she got back in the room she was able to take some photos of our private time with our new precious bundle. One of the greatest things about the midwifery is their practice of leaving you alone for an hour post birth, to just bond with your baby.

Most of this time was spent breastfeeding...that's right! We were already breastfeeding! I was really unsure and uncertain of how well breastfeeding was going to go. I knew I desperately wanted it to go well, but that newborns are all over the place on their ability to latch right away, etc. 

So far, Evelyn and I have been REALLY lucky on that journey. She was over a week late of course, so it helped that she had a nice big mouth to get a full latch right off the bat. I will post more about our breastfeeding journey a while later.

We were so lucky to spend some of her really alert time all together as a family with no interruptions or distractions!

In seemingly no time at all the nurses were back to weigh and measure the babe, and to check on me. While her daddy took her to do some fun stuff, I got to experience the joy of "fundal massage" aka where the older nurse punches me in the gut.

I was bleeding more than they wanted me to be, even after my little baby was doing such a great job of contracting my uterus via breastfeeding. Somewhere in the discussion (I wasn't paying attention as I was too distracted by how much my baby weighed, etc.) it was decided that Blair should come back in to make sure all the placenta had come out after all, etc. It all sounded very serious, but I was on a post birth high and could have cared less. Until Blair had to do a rough internal exam that is. Then I cared a whole lot, because that shizz hurt worse than birthing the baby just had. Youch. 

After that, they let me breastfeed some more and ultimately decided to get me on a pitocin drip to help with the bleeding. Since Evelyn was already here, I wasn't worried about drugs at that point. Eventually, the bleeding subsided, and in the mean time I got to cuddle my baby some more and enjoy the genius idea of vaginal ice packs. They were AWESOME. I thought it would be weird and uncomfortable when they brought me the first one - but it was amazing. Best invention ever.

Since I was taking a little longer than originally anticipated to be done with all that, the nurse kept A distracted by helping him give Evelyn her first bath.

She was pretty fed up after that and was ready to come back to cuddle.

Soon after they had done all the measuring, etc. My mother in law came in to meet her new grand baby! She has been a nurse for many years, and so she did her own exam to make sure Evelyn was a-ok.

We then let the aunties have some cuddle time too, while my MIL and A ran off to grab us some sandwiches - I was starving.

After we ate the worst (but tasted the best ever) subs in the world, it was nap time for baby.

...and for daddy.

Hey, he had a long day too, right? This was the time that they told me I should go ahead and nap too, but I was way too amped still. I just laid there and cuddled with my family and felt like the luckiest person on the face of the planet.

While they took me off to go to the bathroom... (who knew that they would be so concerned about your ability to go to the bathroom after giving birth? Not me. Quick side story - I just didn't have to go. I dunno why, but I didn't. So, when the nurses asked I just said nope don't have to - 6 hours later one of them finally told me they would have to catheterize me if I didn't go. I jumped up and went right then and there - no one told me there was a timeline!) ... Daddy took the opportunity to get some skin to skin contact in with the babe.

After another hour or two of quiet cuddle time, they came in to do the footprints.

Shortly after, my sister and sister-in-law left us to our new little bundle. We had some other friends come to visit and bring us dinner (sushi! Yes!) and we drifted off for our first night with baby. We left the hospital the next afternoon and started the new chapter of our lives.

We've never been happier.

Evelyn is 7 weeks, 1 day old

...and whew. This took forever to tell!

Earth Shaking

In case you haven't heard, the East Coast experienced an earthquake today! Miss Evelyn slept through the whole thing, along with the dog, and I was pretty darn grateful.

We had a rough and fussy morning for some reason (someone told me that this is normal around 6 weeks?), but after waking up post earthquake, my girl has been all smiles.

Our whole world has been a little shaken up this week anyways, as it is our first week of staying at home! A headed to his new assignment yesterday, and is learning the ropes there, while Ev and I try to figure out this whole domestic goddess thing.

So far it is going well, though it is a little weird just having wide open time. I think I am going to try to get some sort of schedule going for the day/week by dividing some tasks into zones for the house. As I develop the plan this week, I will let you all know how it goes.

Oh, and blogging time will be included in the schedule! I have so many posting ideas rattling around in my head that I need to get out!


Evelyn Rae is 6 weeks and 1 day old

...and we may get to experience her first hurricane this week too! Yahtzee!

The Birth of Evelyn Rae: Part Six

Get caught up:
{Part One}
{Part Two}
{Part Three}

{Part Four}
{Part Five}

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*Note: the alternative title to this post is "The one where you know I really wanted this to be honest because I have never posted such unflattering photos of myself on the internet before."*
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Once Nell gave me the go ahead to push, I found a new energy - this was it! I was going to meet my baby! And soon, if I had anything to say about it.

I began pushing sort of feeling out how to push, more than anything else. A lot of people say that pushing sort of feels like having to go to the bathroom, but I don't think so. It felt, well, for lack of a better explanation, like pushing something through your vagina.

Sounds simple enough, eh? Ha. Nevermind that that something is the size of a small human. Because, it is.

But, all in all, I liked pushing much better than the rest of labor. I finally felt like I was able to do something with the contractions and the pain, rather than just let them wash over me. I knew going into it that some women felt the exact same way, but I wasn't sure how I would feel.

Blair gave me the simplest of instructions - "Push toward that pressure that you feel in your bottom." Well, that made sense. And there it was. I was pushing. 

The other thing that I liked about pushing, was that there were again noticeable breaks in between contractions. In between, I was able to sort of rest, and even joke with my labor team. Especially once I knew that I was making progress.

During my entire pregnancy (and well before whenever we talked about having kids) A was certain he would be staying up beside my head during labor. The funny thing was, once things got started he was totally into it. He even traded places with my sister to get a better view of all that was happening. In fact, he got a little overzealous at one point and was holding my leg even higher than was needed so that he could see everything a little better.

Thankfully, a midwife's gentle hand patted his and he got the hint to lower my leg a bit.

 

Blair gave me such great support throughout all of labor, but especially during the actual delivery. She was completley encouraging and kept complimenting my pushing (and holding - as in I was able to keep a lot of the progress I was making) abilities.

You sure know how to get results from a Type A people pleaser, ma'am.

At one point, right before crowning, the pressure got so intense that I said, "I seriously feel like my butt is going to explode!" {Everyone is so eloquent during labor} That pressure is right.there on your perineum and it is intense.

Well, my whole team got a good chuckle from that one, and Blair just said, "I know sweetie, and someday when we all get to Heaven, we are going to call a meeting with God and make him explain what the heck that was all about."

I love midwives.

My husband, sister and sister-in-law were really the most supportive people to have had in that room. They were cheerleaders through the whole process, but especially at the end. They were all totally into all that was going on, and kept me aprised and energized through pushing. It was hard not to feed off their energy. Especially once they could see things happening.

I had pushed for a while without them being able to see progress, but after the first time that they saw the baby's head, it felt like everything happened so quickly. There was such a rush of raw emotion in that room, it was overwhelming.

They kept telling me what they could see, which was a little hard for me, since I couldn't see what they were seeing. I knew if I wanted to see my baby, I just needed to be in the zone and get this thing done. I focused in and pushed for all I was worth.

To tell you the truth I don't even remember the "ring of fire" all that well. I noted it when I felt it, and slowed down my pushing as we had been instructed and as I had run through in my head in childbirth classes. We had done the in and out and in and out of the head originally crowning and Blair told me exactly when to slow down with the ears of the baby emerging.

And then, like that, her head was out! Everyone got so excited, but I just kept breathing and waited for the next contraction. I didn't feel like I could let myself get excited just yet. I knew that the baby's head would turn for the delivery of the shoulders and then I would need to push again, so when A exclaimed, "The head is turning!" I knew I needed to be ready. I was so in the zone, that I just had a sort of visual checklist in my mind. Head? Check. Rotating? Check. Next are the shoulders, ease them out slowly so as not to tear.

Well, I certainly tried to push slowly. I began to push lightly and breathe the shoulders out, just the way that we were taught in class, but my body had other ideas. Blair even said, "Ok Courtney, stop pushing!" and all I could say was, "That isn't me!" The contractions were pushing her out all on their own with no effort from me.

And then, all of a sudden at 1:18 pm, she was here.

They lifted her toward me and I was the first to see that she was, in fact, a she. I tearfully and laughingly said, "It's a girl!" at the same time as my husband and sister. I cannot even explain the rush of emotions in that instant. It really was as if the entire world was standing still.

Those moments still bring tears to my eyes. I remember hearing that little wail, and Blair lying her on my chest and thinking, "It was real! There really was a little person inside of me! I can't believe I did it!" I held her to me and laughed and cried and said, "Hello, Evelyn".

We both laughed and cried and checked her over. She was perfect.

As the nurses strapped A's bracelet on to match ours, I just kept laughing and crying. I was so overcome by emotions and hormones and the post birth high that I couldn't contain my joy. We said a thousand "I love you's" to each other and to our new daughter, and life had never been sweeter.

Evelyn Rae is five weeks old

...and I think I am going to have to post an epilogue to this story...it's not over just yet.

The Birth of Evelyn Rae: Part Five

Get caught up:
{Part One}
{Part Two}
{Part Three}

{Part Four}

 

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As Blair answered my question, everyone in the room sort of laughed at my visible relief about finally being able to slide into that tub that had been filling and warming since we arrived. For a second I doubted my ability to sit up and actually make my way to the tub, but I shook my head and gritted my teeth and said to myself, I am getting.in.that.tub...now.

 

 

 

I waddled my way over to the tub and slid into the warm water, and there it was...sweet relief. Ahhhhh. The tub was so awesome. It was around 11:35 when I entered the tub, and it was amazing. My whole body was able to relax and then, all of a sudden, there was a break in between contractions again.

They were still pretty intense, but the break made all the difference in the world. My sister helped me to put on a black bikini top that I had brought along. Originally I thought I would change into it before getting into the tub, but when Blair waved the green flag for entry, I had gotten in the tub with all my clothes on.

I kept the skirt on with the bikini top because I didn't relish the thought of juist being straight up naked in front of whoever walked in the room, and had even brought a second black skirt so that I could change into a dry one once I climbed back out (of course that no longer mattered to me after a while).

I was really concerned, in between my vocalizations, about the woman who had come in about an hour after me being able to hear me, because I couldn't hear her. Or, if the people in the hallway could hear me for that matter. I don't know why it mattered to me in that moment, but I was desperate to know that I wasn't the crazy woman in labor scaring other women.

Everyone assured me that I was not.

After laboring in the tub for 45 minutes or so, all of a sudden I felt a "pop". I looked up at Blair and A and said, "My water just broke." Completely calm.

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Well, it feels like a balloon just popped inside of me."

 

"Yup, that's it."

Shortly after that I felt the need to push. Blair gave me the go ahead to start pushing to see what would happen, and it sort of freaked me out that she hadn't checked to see if I was at 10 centimeters (not that there is a good way to check in the water). All these thoughts and questions flooded my brain, "What if I still have a lip? What if I push before ten and swell my cervix? This has gone by so fast! I expected this to take so much longer!"

With that, I began a sort of half hearted pushing attempt. To tell the truth, everything had gone so fast, and I was so unsure of how to go about pushing that, I knew, even as I was trying those first pushing attempts in the water, that they weren't going to do much. Plus, I didn't want to give birth in the water! What if I was like some rockstar pusher and the baby just flew out?! (Oh, the lack of logic in the labor process) But, I sort of felt my way through it and pushed for a little while in the tub.

 

 

It wasn't long before Blair realized that I wasn't very comfortable pushing in the water. She suggested getting out, and though I loved the pain relief the water brough, I was relieved that we could get on to the type of pushing I had visualized.

 

 

 

Blair was about to have me do some preliminary pushes on my back, so she could see how I was doing, but quickly she had to run next door to check on the other woman in labor at the midwifery. Luckily, Nell, one of the other midwives, had come over (in her nice clothes) from the main office to check on things. I loved Nell, so I was so happy to see her! She came right in, pulled on some gloves and had me try some pushes while Blair helped my neighbor.

 

She saw right away that pushing on my back was maybe not the best, and suggested that I turn on my side. She had me do the whole "Push my fingers out," routine, just to see how I would do. After one push she raised her eyebrows and said, "Well alright, I think we have found your position!"

 

She patted me on the thigh and said,

 

"Push away, you are going to be great."

 

 

 

Evelyn Rae is one month and one day old

 

...and there are too many pictures to share for this to have been the last installment, but the birth is next - I promise.

One Month

Evelyn Rae,

One month ago today you were born into this crazy world. Since your arrival you have set both the head and heart of your dad and I spinning. We have been so lucky to be able to just hang out with you over the past few weeks. We are still adjusting to the fact that we are indeed parents and sometimes, when we have our morning cuddle time with you, we just look at each other in disbelief that we really are this lucky.

You have grown quite a bit this month. I don't know exactly how much since your one month appointment got pushed back to more like a 6 week appointment (because we are away on vacation right now). As your mom, I am torn about you growing. You are already looking less and less like a newborn and more and more like, well, you.

On one hand I am so happy and proud that you are growing big and healthy, and that it's all from our breastfeeding time together. You are feeding about every two hours, by the by. On the other hand, I am already saddened by how fast you are growing! Even as I feel that little twinge of sadness though, I find myself dreaming about all the possibilities that await you in life. I am so excited to see all that you will do, little girl.

So far, you have spent lots of time with all of your grandparents, who are totally in love with you, and lots of your parents friends who you will call aunt and uncle someday. You drove all the way to Wisconsin with your mom, dad and puppy. The puppy loves you too, most of the time. I think he is still adjusting a little bit to having to share mommy and daddy's attention. This month you have also gotten to see some of my very favorite places up here in the Northwoods, including spending time at the cabin.

You have obtained a few nicknames already in your month here. We already knew we would call you Evie for short, but now you have accrued little lady, ladybug (from momma), bugaboo (from Grandma Barb), and your daddy loves to call you Evie Rae.

In the last two weeks you have really started moving and shaking. You have been really strong since you were born - holding your head up and tracking people way before I thought you would. But recently you have started really kicking and stretching and just moving all the time! You love lying on your back and moving your arms and legs every which way. You've also started smiling and cooing at us, instead of just grunts that we were getting before. You certainly love to chatter away and tell everyone your "stories."

You are sleeping pretty well for us, waking up soimewhere between the two or three am hour, and then again around six or seven for a feeding. But, then you always head right back to sleep!

I can't see what's to come next month. And the month after, and the one after that.

All my love,

Momma


Evelyn is a month old today

...and she slept long enough for me to write this whole post in one sitting!

Off the Grid

Well, I haven't updated in a while.

But that doesn't mean I haven't been writing posts in my head.

Right now though, the family and I are off the grid visitng family in the Northwoods.

I haven't checked my email in days, my google reader count is through the roof, my cell phone has been dead since last Wednesday (service is spotty at best in some of the places we are visiting anyway), and we couldn't be happier indulging in good old fashioned family time.

Birth story finale, one month update, all that is to come.

My husband would like you to know that he went for a run that morning and would like you to also note that he is hunched over holding the dog in this photo...and they say the moms are the ones worried about post baby body image. ;)

Once we are done visitng places with no long distance phone, cable tv or internet connection. And enjoying every minute.

 

Ok, my own disclaimer here. Salon Appointment has been made so those roots can be taken care of. Geeze Louise.

Evelyn is 4 weeks old today

...and her great grandmas love her to pieces, just like me.

Today

Today I am 27 years old.

I have a brand new, beautiful 3 week old daughter, an amazing husband who has had the good sense to love me back for almost 11 years and an adorable, badly behaved beagle whose big brown eyes melt my heart.

What am I wishing for this birthday?

I think I'm good.

Evelyn Rae is 22 days old

...and I can't quite seem to remember what life was like without her here.