Tomorrow I am 39 weeks pregnant.
And I am officially ready, so let's get this show on the road.
Now, I know, I know - we should let babies cook till they are done. And I totally get it. I went 11 days past my due date with Evelyn, remember? And I didn't feel "done" any of that time.
But, I have never felt so "done" with pregnancy before…
I do now.
Who knows if it's because this is my third baby (in four years), or if it is because I suspect that I am actually closer to due than not (based on conception, which I am pretty damn sure of, because you know, two kids…so I can pretty well account for the "grown up times" that A and I get)…
...or if it is because it seems like I have been pregnant forever - simply because none of my new friends have ever known me not pregnant (crazy), or because we have done so much (like moving across the world, surviving our first deployment with kids, etc.) while pregnant with this baby.
I am beginning to suspect, though, that it has more to do with the reality of how little time that we will have as a family of 5 and be physically together finally starting to sink in.
We know that A will be deploying again, fairly soon after this baby is born, and will be gone for pretty much the majority of 2015. (Excuse the vague terms. There is this thing called OpSec. You can read about it.)
When it comes down to it, this baby's daddy will leave an infant…and come home to an almost one year old. I am grateful that A has the opportunity to be here for this baby's birth, obviously, but it still doesn't make it easy for either of us to look down the barrel of the reality of this separation.
We have known about the deployment, of course, and it has always been in the back of our minds…but preparing for baby has taken precedence over preparing for deployment. And now it looms closer and makes us both sit up and take note. I know that it's just as hard for him to conceptualize as it is for me.
So, a week or two of extra time with Daddy - and for me to have an extra set of hands in this new world of parenting 3 children under 4 (as much as possible while still being responsible for all the deployment work ups that will be happening at work) - actually does feel like it will make a difference.
Emotionally, mentally, physically - having as much time as possible with both of us on the same continent seems important. For all the kids, really. And for the parents.
So, I wouldn't mind if you wanted to debut a little early, G3.
It seems that we are ready for you to join us.
Whenever you're ready.
Evelyn Rae is 3.5, Liam is 2, I am 38 weeks and 6 days along with G3
…and on the upside, we are hoping to break up this deployment with a nice long visit back to the states. More on that to come, but I already can't wait for stupid amounts of silly American things that I miss.