Thursday, June 27, 2013


As you may have noticed, my blogging hiatus has continued. And probably will for a few more weeks.

We are headed on a family vacation tomorrow. For two whole weeks.

Today, my day is going to be filled with packing.

Packing for two kids - clothes, toys, snacks, accessories. Thankfully, my mother is wonderful and generous so that list does not include as much as it could, because she has been buying things left and right in preparation for her grand babies arriving.

Packing for a dog.

Packing for myself - including the clothes and things necessary for two mini trips within my larger trip. I have a wedding to attend and a sorority conference while I am away. I am also packing enough pumped breast milk in dry ice to sustain my baby boy while I am at those mini events.

I like to make things complicated.

When my husband gets home, well, he will pack himself. Probably into a backpack. In five minutes. And he will not understand why packing has taken me all day. (Plus a week of thoughtful planning before that.)

These last two weeks have been a whirl of activity. Trying to accomplish all sorts of projects and maintain some semblance of a normal life while visiting with friends and family who were coming through town.

So, we've been off living. And will be taking a blessed moment of pause at my most favorite, still, thinking place in the world for the next little bit.

And then we'll be back.

And my baby girl will be two.

And I will maybe be able to process that.

But, probably not.

In any case - when we get back, I will be back.

And that is a promise that I intend to keep.

Evelyn Rae is 23 months old and Liam is 4 months old

...and please pray for us being in the car with two kids and a dog for almost a whole day. Seriously.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

If I'd Known Then...

If I'd known then...

About how marriage would still be different than those eight (almost nine) years of dating...

That it would still be work...

And that there would still be fights...

And there would still be days where I rolled my eyes at you and wanted to say "I told you so"...

...and vice versa, I'm sure...

If I'd known then...

That we would buy a house...

And make more money than we ever had in our lives...

And still not know how we managed to spend it all...

...perchance it was that trip to Italy...

If I'd known then...

That deployment in actuality would suck more than we thought...

And that there were such a thing as "duty"...

And that you would spend the night on the ship the night I went into labor with our first baby...

...and that neither of us can count the separations ahead of us...

If I'd known then...

That we would have two babies under two...

That it would happen before we were even 29...

That parenthood would be its own, exhausting, special kind of craziness...

That I could love you even more than I had before, seeing you hold our children...

...and because you are the one who gave me the gift of motherhood...

Well, if I'd known all of that then...

...I would have flown down the aisle instead of walked.

Happy Anniversary, Husband.

I love you so very much.

Here's to 100 more years of adventure.

Evelyn Rae is 23 months old, Liam is 4 months old

...and, yeah. My heart is pretty damn full these days.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Four Months

My dearest Little Man,

Happy June and summer my little winter baby! As we enter this, my most favorite and wonderful of seasons, I hope beyond all belief that you are a happy summer baby like your sister and I. I plan on taking advantage of the weather when we can and enjoying all that the season has to offer before we get shut back up in the house again come fall and next winter.

You, my son are becoming the most curious and observant little baby. You have to check everything out that is in front of you, or to the side of you, or behind you. Or pretty much everything within immediate reach. You have become quite the little roller lately, so even though you tend to get frustrated at your inability to move toward things (especially since your sister tends to swoop in and grab whatever it is you want) you have started rolling over like you know that this will somehow help. 

This observation has also greatly increased your tolerance for the dreaded tummy time. Usually you can be distracted with a few things in front of you from the fact that you are indeed, on your tummy. Then as soon as you realize it though, it's over with a quick roll to your back. You even rolled back to front just the other day for the first time after weeks of trying. Huzzah!

You are definitely still my snuggle bug. I have an insane amount of photos of you napping in my arms this month, as I look back through them. Certainly more than I ever had of your sister at this age. You love to nurse for long lengthy periods and then just snuggle in and sleep peacefully against me. You also really like sleeping in your Boppy on the couch or floor - shhh! dont tell anyone because it very clearly states NO SLEEPING on it - but you like being pretty much anywhere close to the action. You have napped in your crib a bit, but you seem to nap longer around people.

You are still sleeping in Mom and Dad's room. You are going through some serious growing and still wake up to nurse once or twice in the night. We will tackle that bridge when we get back from Wisconsin next month, I think. We'll see how it goes, because you certainly like being close to Mom, and you do not like it when we alter from that course.

You are the reddest little baby when you get your little spats of unhappiness. I say "spats" because they are never for very long, but man, oh man, do you take them seriously. You are usually over them pretty quickly, but your whole face flushes and then you retain all your red accents for like a half an hour later. It is so funny to me that your physical look of being upset lingers for so much more than your actual feelings of being upset. You are almost like a little thermometer that I can see getting more and more red and then cooling back down.

You continue to be a mostly happy baby, however, even though you are dealing with the discomfort of reflux. You poor baby, I certainly didn't like dealing with it either time I was pregnant so I can't really imagine dealing with it not even knowing what is happening. Your doc and I discussed it and since you seem to be a mostly "happy" spitter upper, we are holding off on the medication in hopes that this will all resolve soon. I know you probably hope so too, even though you don't know it, sweet boy.

 You continue to chit chat with me and are working really hard already on sitting up as well. I am so proud of how big and strong you are getting, but I also want to just push a pause button on time every so often. I fear you dont get as much time to practice all this physical stuff as your sister did - mainly because she is still so young and though she is mostly gentle with you, sometimes she sill doesn't quite "get" how fragile you still are.

You are definitely trying to scootch on your tummy time which I need you to just slow down on a little bit. I can't really imagine life with TWO mobile kids, yet I am still so proud of you every time you put forth your considerable effort to be a big kid like your sister. You started in the bouncer this month, as we put away the bouncy seat and are about to put away the swing. You are much to interactive now to be excited about being passive in any of your hang out places. So far, you pretty much love it and I have a sneaking suspicion that it has more to do with being eye level to interact with a certain big sister than anything else.

You are becoming the most affectionate little thing, cooing so hard at us and trying to give us big open mouth, sloppy kisses. You love burrowing into someone's arms, finding your perfect little spot and staying there absolutely content until you slip right into a peaceful nap. You reward us with the most wide open eyes and smiles when you wake up in our arms, as well.

You pretty much melt my heart every day, you little flirt.

I love you so much I can barely stand it.

All my love,


Evelyn Rae is 22 months old, Liam is four months old

...and I'm gonna go get some big sloppy kisses from both my kids


I have mentioned in the past how much I absolutely hate being damp - wearing damp clothes, getting rained on and not getting quite dry enough. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

It's my own nails on the chalkboard, shuddery, gross feeling.

Well, today has been the dampiest of all damp days.

  • Spilled cereal milk.
  • Spilled water.
  • Spit up.
  • Misaligned nursing pads, resulting in leaking through shirt.
  • Toddler playing in dog's water bowl.
  • Baby popping off boob, resulting in spraying all over.
  • A toddler who has developed a new spitting habit.
  • Spitting chewed carrots all over herself.
  • Letting milk dribble out of her mouth all over herself after taking a big swig.
  • More baby spit up.
  • Spilled pumped breastmilk. 

Enough to make me cry.

{But, I can't, because that would make things even more...damp.}

Ugh, Ugh, Ugh.

This is one of those days, where small things are creeping up all around me and making me, um, not the most pleasant or patient of mothers.

And, I know it.

So, I shall take this nap time for myself.

Both of my children are {blessedly} asleep. And I shall change into some dry clothes. And I shall check some things off of my to do list and be productive enough to make myself feel better.

Except, no chores involving liquids need apply.

And when those children of mine awaken, I will be a happier, dryer, mother.

Let's hope.

Evelyn Rae is 22 months old {for one more day} and Liam is FOUR months old

...and seriously though, does anyone have a fix all cure for a toddler spitting/spitting out food/spitting out drinks phase? I am so over this business.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Heart Explosions

Yesterday, I posted a photo with the caption "That? Just the sound of my heart exploding." to Instagram and Facebook.

And... it continues to do so as I look at these few photos that I snapped.

We were picking up Evelyn's room, and I took advantage of Evelyn's bed to give Liam some entertainment (watching us clean) for his tummy time.

After a few minutes he let out a less than happy squawk, and before I could respond, his big sister did. She climbed right up onto that bed to keep him company.

As Liam evolves more and more from the baby "blob" stage and is becoming more interactive, I have absolutely love seeing the relationship between these two develop.

I knew that I was giving Evelyn a brother, of course, but it just recently started becoming real to me that these two would have what I have been so blessed to have in my own siblings. Someone to play with, someone to fight with (of course), someone to band together to make fun of me and my "phone laugh" with, and someone to experience all of this crazy life with - as a friend and peer.

The love, connection and companionship between siblings is so special, and I cannot accurately describe what it is like to witness this relationship in your own children.

Heart explosions just about cover it.

Evelyn Rae is 22 months old, Liam is almost 4 months old

...and these two. It is just so, so much.