My husband and I were both awake before 5 o'clock this morning. Unintentionally. This was a stressful weekend - not just because we are undergoing home projects, wrapping up last minute Christmas shopping, planning for our upcoming Christmas trip and oh, yeah, the financing of all this stuff with the impending arrival of a new baby.
But, because all through the weekend, we were still processing the unbelievable tragedy of this Friday in Connecticut.
I honestly cannot imagine Evelyn being old enough that I need to process something like this with her, because I cannot wrap my arms around it myself. I can't wrap my arms, mind and heart around the moments of complete innocence that I now see in my own child as a parent contrasted with these horrific events. Knowing that within a few weeks I will be gazing into the eyes of another completely new, shiny soul for the first time...
There are so many discussions to be had - as individuals, as communities and as a nation.
I am relieved to see and hear the inclusion of mental illness in the debates, opinions and processing discussions that are already swirling. I am amazed and grateful that parents are coming forward with their own heart wrenching stories.
These debates are imminent, and while I don't know that I am quite ready to hear all of the political ideologists on either side with extremist views, I know that they are already coming forward, they were coming forward in the moments immediately following this - when we didn't even realize just how bad the situation actually was.
What I am ready to hear is a responsible discussion engaged in by all sides - I know that it can happen, and God willing, it will. At the end of the day, we are all just people, people with vastly varying facets and opinions. People who need to demand a responsible move forward.
The blogosphere has been in full swing with parents holding their kids a little tighter, parents who realize that we will in fact return to normalcy, and parents who are offering simple and genuine support and prayer.
I find myself falling into different reactions almost every moment, and probably will for a while.
Evelyn Rae is seventeen months old, I am 32 weeks (!!) along with Baby Bump
...and I sincerely hope that we all get to send our thoughts and prayers to all the families and people affected by this tragedy, at the same time as being able to hold our families a little closer this holiday season.