Shock.

Well folks, I am still shell shocked.

I can't believe that I am pregnant.

Getting my mind back wrapped around all the pregnancy info/stuff is crazy. Considering I felt like I was such an expert on the whole thing the first time around it is amazing to realize all the info that went right out the window the second Evelyn was actually here.

It's sort of like cramming for a test, and then brain dumping it all onto that one exam and walking away.

I literally just had to look up the due date calculator AGAIN and confer, to myself, how you count how many weeks preggo you are. I mean. This is beginner stuff. Am I right?

Over the last couple of days, I have been bouncing all over the place with emotions and stuff. And nausea. And heartburn. And exhaustion. And sore boobs. And oh yeah, all those pregnancy symptoms.

Wow. I still can't even wrap my brain around it. I think it's a little harder because this is what we (in grad school) called an "unanticipated transition."

Don't get me wrong, I am totally happy when I think about another little baby and that newborn-y smell and a whole 'nother personality to love and adore and snuggle

But, I am definitely having my freak out moments too. This was/is so out of the blue!! I mean, as I mentioned to my husband, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. We are two adults, sexually active, in our reproductive prime, so... yeah.

But still!

I worry about how this will affect Ev, and our relationship. Is it better that she is so young? She won't really remember what it was like to be the only kiddo? Or is it worse because we can only explain everything to her so much?

And then...

Sometimes I forget entirely. The other day I walked up to a soda machine thinking how delicious my Diet Coke would be... and then I remembered... I should probably have water instead, because I had already had a small cup of coffee in the morning. And dang it, I had already paid for a soda! I could have had water for free!

How do you forget you are pregnant? I mean, it's just so cray.

And just when I felt like I was getting this whole "Mom" thing down.

I know some people say that the transition from one to two is NBD, but I cannot conceptualize changing two kids diapers, one of whom will be running around and wanting to play and have fun and the other who will be breastfeeding every three hours around the clock.

Oy.

Husband remains like a little kid at Christmas. So flipping excited.

Thank goodness. He keeps me from freaking myself out too much.



Evelyn Rae is eleven months old, I am 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant with G2 (still working on the nicknames)

...and excuse me while I go chug some water to quell my nausea.