Friday, September 7, 2012

Once in a Blue Moon... end up having a No Good Very Bad Day.

A week ago today, the day started out...well, lovely.

It was then that I should have known.

I spent the morning with a happy baby who had slept in, I finally felt like myself again, said baby went down for a great nap and I was able to get myself all recruitment ready for my trip to Richmond. You know, I curled my hair slowly, leisurely even, without chasing someone from killing themselves even once... that kind of a morning. Bliss.

I was aiming to be in Richmond by 2pm, and the whole fam damily was coming too as it was Labor Day weekend. (The fam would hang with my sister in law and her husband while I ran around like crazy, per usual in a recruitment schedule.) So hubs was on par to be home in time to leave for Richmond ASAP and I had my brand new COH maternity jeans (snagged them at the 50% off sale - woot!) and fabulously curly hair.


I'm serious y'all - it really was a blue moon that day. Like astrologically sound blue moon.

The husband was running a little late. No problem, I didn't *really* have to be there until 4pm. Still way on track. He got home, we loaded up the car and were happily on our way. It was hotter than hell outside (97* on our in car thermostat), but we were cursing. We hit patches of traffic that had me worried we would be late, but then shortly after Williamsburg, all seemed to clear, so we relaxed, held hands and listened to great music while a baby and a puppy slept in the back.

And the proverbial shizz hit the fan.

We heard the ding. You know, that ding that means "Running low on gas!" or in this case - "Check Gauges".

Um, what? Oh my God, honey! Look at the temperature gauge!

It was off the charts, all the way hot. As hot as hot can be. Going 70 mph in the middle of a busy highway. We yanked out the manual which told us to pull over and keep the car running, but to roll down the windows, turn off the AC, etc...and hopefully watch the temperature gauge go down.

We pulled off, did worked! The gauge was going down, it was back towards normal range and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. We even took a second to change Evelyn's diaper in the back seat.

And then.

The temperature gauge inexplicably started RISING AGAIN! Oh shizz.

After a quick conference, we decided to try and get the car the 20 feet down the road to the shade available at the 7-11 directly in front of us. (We were in the blazing sun, so logic followed that we may need a cooler place to cool down...right?)


We pulled into 7-11, stopped the car...and steam started BILLOWING from under the hood. Like CLOUDS of steam. Immediately, husband and I look at each other and jump out of the car.

Right at this moment, Evelyn starts fussing because she's hot (me too baby girl, me too) and the dog starts yelping because FOOD! The SMELLS! ALL THE THINGS!

Oh friends. We were such a sight.

Almost immediately, this guy in a blue jumpsuit just appears next to us at the hood and is all, "Hey! My name's Paul. I work on cars, and y'all look like you need someone like me. This is serious business, I have never seen a radiator leak that badly."

Perfect. We have even managed to astonish our new mechanic friend. Of course we did.

I immediately abandon hubs to chat with our new friend and run for my cell phone as I look around and note that we are in the middle of NOWHERE. Time to call someone, anyone, who has their phone on them at recruitment to let them know that only GOD knows if we will be going anywhere tonight.

(Meanwhile baby still fussing and dog still freaking out in the car, windows rolled down to let in air but not enough to let the dog jump out, people staring at us all OVER this 7-11...)

Of course, I can't get in touch with anyone because they are running around busy, and shouldn't have their phones on them anyway. It's now 3:30 or so and I AM SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. UGGGGGH.

So, I leave messages for everyone I can get a voicemail for and head to grab the baby out of the car. I shout to hubs that I am taking the baby inside to cool down in the AC while I note in the window of the car that my perfectly beautiful and careful done hair is now melting into a pile of limp hairsprayed ridiculousness. My poor baby girl is all sweaty and a mess in a ridiculously cute (and expensive) dress because I thought she would be making her sorority debut. Of course.

I throw this picture up on Facebook while trolling around 7-11 trying to keep the toddler who wants to pull everything off the shelves from losing her mind while I try to call my sister in law to see if she can possibly rescue us.

Please note the crazy eyes and toddler LUNGING for beef jerky.

Most of the time I was carrying her one armed completely horizontal like a sack of potatoes as she kept trying to kill herself by arching backwards out of my arms. THE AIRHEADS MOMMA! LOOK AT THE LOLLY POPS! AND ALL THE COLORFUL STUFF AND CANDY! AHHH! Meanwhile, the manager was giving us some serious side eye. No, I am not trying to steal anything or case your 7-11 Manager Dude. Can't you see I am managing a CRISIS here?!

I chat with my SIL and explain the situation and sadly, she is closing at the bank so she can't leave until 6. Whomps. I start eyeing the chilled Andre in the refrigerator case with sadness and resentment. If I could pop open some champagne in the parking lot right now - life would be so much better. If the manager hadn't been so suspicious, I would have gotten a photo for y'all, but I had no idea how long we would be camping out, so I wasn't ready to burn any bridges just yet.

We headed back out to the car because I can see my husband waving me down from the parking lot. He informs me that Paul is willing to help us, they need to hop in HIS car and go buy us a new radiator in the next town over, and leave me with the dog and the baby to call AAA for a tow to Paul's shop.

I start feeding the dog some ice from my leftover lunch cup to cool his poor panting self down and set the baby in the backseat of the car, where she immediately starts crawling into the way back of the car to dig around in suitcases and totes, naturally.

Trying to keep myself from having a mini panic attack I decide, alright let's gauge the surroundings and see what we can do. I spot a tree off to the side of the 7-11 that could provide some shad and launch into action. I pull the stroller from the back and get Ev strapped in. Dig for the leash and grab the dog and my purse and we head for the tree.

I set up a little campsite, Facebook this picture really quickly...

...and shortly thereafter, my phone dies.

So, in short, I am stuck alone outside a 7-11 in the middle of nowhere, running late for my dear chapter's very first recruitment ever, camped out with an overheating baby in a stroller and an overheating dog on a leash, sweating through brand new designer maternity jeans and a dry clean only top, while it is 97 degrees with no idea how long I will be there...all the while wistfully dreaming of the cheap champagne inside.

Back with the rest on Monday.

Evelyn Rae is thirteen months old, I am 17 weeks, 5 days along with Baby Ferris

...and you know after my phone died I naturally whipped out the nice camera to document the rest of this day, so don't you worry about that. ;)

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