a one act play
(Home Depot parking lot. COURTNEY [a visibly pregnant woman] is walking back to her car [parked in front of the main entrance] from the Garden Center. She is walking parallel to the store along the main street that runs in front of the store, carrying two 6 lb bags of grass seed/fertilizer on one hip and a small Gerbera Daisy plant in the other, clearly enjoying the sunshine and short walk. STRANGE WOMAN pulls up along side of COURTNEY in a white minivan.)
(rolls down her window and drives slowly alongside COURTNEY. Begins yelling.)
You shouldn't be carrying all that jazz! You need to be worried about your baby!
Oh, don't worry! It's not that heavy! Thanks for the concern though!
I am serious! You need to be worried about having that baby! Not all that gardening mess! You need to go home and have that baby! You can garden afterward. You should not be carrying all that stuff! Don't you know how many broken babies there are in this world? Just go home and have that baby!
COURTNEY thinks "what is she talking about? "broken babies"?? What does that even mean? Well, she has good intentions, so be nice..."
No really, it's ok...my car is just right over there.
(still driving slowly alongside COURTNEY, still yelling)
Listen to me! You do NOT need to be worrying about all that gardening mess, you just need to go home and have that baby! That is all you should be worrying about! Just go home and have that baby!
(still walking, looks around quickly to see if anyone else is catching this. They aren't.)
It's ok, I promise, my husband is doing all the work, I am just picking these things up! And it's really not that heavy.
COURTNEY is thinking all the while, "Women used to give birth after plowing fields and doing hard labor lady, I promise that I will be ok walking this 20 feet to my car. I carry grocery bags heavier than this!"
(still driving slowly alongside COURTNEY)
If your husband is doing all that work, he should be the one here getting all of this! You just GO HOME AND HAVE THAT BABY! DO YOU HEAR ME? Just go have that BABY!
Well, thank you for your concern. Have a nice day!
(COURTNEY walks away from the STRANGE WOMAN, who is still slowly driving parallel to the store, so that she can cut in between cars to get back to her own safely, with no further interaction with STRANGE WOMAN)
29 weeks, 6 days along
...and I wish this were an exaggeration of what actually happened. It's not.