One year ago today, I delivered my beautiful baby girl into this world. That day was so full.
Full of pain, sweat, work, and ultimately joy, laughter and an unshakeable awe at our own everyday miracle.
I can hardly believe that those moments were an entire year ago.
It seems like yesterday, but at the same time - I can't really remember what life was like without Miss Evelyn in that little space, reserved just for her, in my heart.
In that moment, everything changed, and yet the transition was so natural and immediate.
Today, in reflecting on the past year, I finally understand why a birthday is such a momentous occasion. I have always sort have felt that birthdays were cool and all, but meh. What's the big deal?
Now, I get it. It is, in fact, a big deal.
Your birthday is a day to celebrate that you entered the world, that your entire being and soul was suddenly here, sharing in the space of the universe with all the other people out there.
The fact that I had a part in bringing another soul into this world, someone who has already intersected paths with so many, and will only continue to do so, is just so, so awesome.
Evelyn Rae, I have so many dreams for you already. Nothing specific, because I want you to make your own decisions, but instead vague and sweeping emotions that I hope you live in a state of, every day. The biggest is that you will be truly happy in your life.
Whatever your choices, I so desperately want you to be happy.
You have taught me so much, in such a relatively short time.
I have never had so much patience for a person, well, ever. Maybe your Daddy... maybe. But patience just seems to pour out of me in unending amounts when it comes to you. I will admit that some days it does seem like it might just be coming to the end, but amazingly, it never does.
You have taught me to be still, and enjoy little moments. To stop and smell the flowers, and to stare with you in wonderment at new things that you are encountering.
You have renewed my fascination with education, after I had become so burnt out at the lack of those magical, teachable moments in my last "real" job.
You, my little love bug, amaze me every day.
You make me laugh, every day.
You make me shake my head, every day.
You make me kiss your Daddy, because I am so proud that you are a bit of both of us, every day.
You make me love you, even more, every day.
I can't wait to see what you will teach me as time goes on.
Happy Birthday, Evelyn Rae.
You, and your Daddy, are the best things to ever happen to me.
Evelyn Rae is ONE
...and my heart has been so full of emotions the last few days, I'm not even sure I could accurately describe it, no matter how hard I try.