I am a HAM emotionally lately.
(if you are not from the South... HAM = Hot A*@ Mess, which is a step up from just a hot mess, which is still not a great thing to be)
Most of my emotions are triggered alone, while I am being entertained by music or TV. See, here is the thing - I am not a crier (though famously after uttering those words in grad school I was the first to cry - the irony). Seriously though, I don't cry over things. I haven't noticed any other huge emotional swings lately, but the crying thing is out of control.
Location: In my car
Trigger: Song - "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?"
This is a happy song y'all. But, it talks about a first kiss, and that got me thinking about my first kiss with A ll those years ago, and how much I love him and appreciate our relationship, and it cued up the montage of my favorite moments, and how he is going to be a dad...and there I was. Bawling in my car.
Location: On my couch
Seriously, I am embarrassed by this one. It wasn't even a particularly emotional episode. But the ending, the ending was just so cheesy and happy and I lost it. I sat there cuddling my puppy and crying.
Location: In the car - this morning
Trigger: "This is Country Music"
(Yes, I listen to country music on the way to work in the morning - don't judge. They are the best morning show around <3 )
There is one line in this song, pretty insignificant overall, "It ain’t hip to sing about tractors, trucks, little towns, and mama..."
But, this morning - it hit me - I am going to be someone's mama. What the heck?! Someone's mom? And then all I could think about was that bond, and how much I love my mom, and on and on. And, I cried. A lot.
And then I bought myself a donut.
17 weeks, 4 days along
...and the Dunkin' Donut lady probably sees crying women pulling over for a chocolate frosted donut all the time, right?