This is Sherbs, in a glance.
Mayhap my favorite picture of her from getting ready...until the pro shots come in.
*not her real name. Rarely do people ever call this lady by her real name.
Anywho, I am totally taking it upon myself to say that I was a DGPB (see title). No one said that quote directly to me, but Ima go ahead an take it. Here is your guide, should you ever find yourself knocked up after saying "Yes of course I will be your bridesmaid!"
First thing's first: When you find out
Talk to the bride. Now, my friend is adorable and loving and could not have cared less that I was KU'd and in her photos, etc. She was thrilled for us. Most people will be. But, I still felt the need to give her an "out" should she want it.
I mean, any number of things could have happened that could have kept me from actually being there day of, messed up dress orders, etc. and you need to have a little understanding that when planning a wedding, brides are all into the details. In that moment, all those things matter to her, and you need to realize that. Of course, in this situation we got to pick our own black dresses (hallelujah) and so that wasn't a problem, and the rest we just optimistically assumed would fall into place. And they did. Thank goodness.
And if you get to pick your own dress - do not go straight for David's Bridal or another line with "maternity options" (read: don't just google "maternity bridesmaid dresses" and settle for whatever is not hideous). Look around for something fabulous and flattering. A lot of places have dresses online that are of better cut and quality. I recommend ASOS Maternity with my whole heart and soul.
In the planning process
Go with the flow. Now, I will be the first to say that I did not jump into the planning process of showers and bachelorettes as much as I normally do, because I knew my mind was all over the place with baby prep, work, etc. BUT, I offered support to the other maids and MOH where I could. I knew I was going to all the events, because who wants to miss out on the fun stuff just because you are preggo? Find a cute dress, rock it and go about your business.
And because that's what bridesmaids do, yo. Let's be honest, part of being a good bridesmaid is living up to certain expectations regarding attendance and support where and when you can offer it to the bride. You don't need to be a slave or anything, but that's how it works. If you find out you are pregnant and don't think you can fulfill those duties, honestly in your heart of hearts, you should talk to the bride about stepping aside. Take one for the team. Don't be the drag. If a concern comes up here and there, be honest, talk to one of the other maids for advice, or even the bride, but don't be the perpetual problemo in the planning process.
I mean that with the biggest hug of understanding ever, but be honest with yourself, the other party members and the bride.
Have fun with it, even if you can't drink the mimosas.
Maybe just a splash of champagne for flavor?
Bridesmaid fail. Look at the same camera as everyone else.
If you can manage it, without overexerting yourself, head to the bars too!
You get some great looks and reactions from people and may even get hit on. Win!
For the wedding itself
Beutification. Get yourself all done up as you normally would, but beware chemicals etc. a little more than normal for the well being and peace of mind of you and baby. I was lucky enough to have taken some extra time, and took that time to hang with my friend Meg who recommended an all natural spa to me. We went together to get our nails and feet purdied up at The Nature Company Salon and Spa.
Let me just tell you that this nail polish that they used, is the best mani/pedi I have ever had. Seriously here I am two weeks later with a small chip on ONE NAIL. Naturally, I have began to try chipping away at it some more and it is tough work. It is not coming off. My pedicure is doing fabulously. Not a single chip. Plus, healthy for your nails? Love. We all went to an Aveda school in San Antonio to get our hair did, which also saved me from too much aqua net or anything gross like that while getting ready. Much appreciated.
Just do you. The biggest advice is to be who you normally are...because, guess what? You are still you. True you have to carry around an extra 20, 30 or 40 pounds, but find some confidence in what your rockin' body is growing inside of you, and roll with it. Confidence is the biggest booster in both attitude and photos. Trust.
If you would normally party out until all hours of the night, go out with the crowd, but listen to your body. When you are tired, go back to the hotel. (Also, if headed to a piano bar, be prepared to be made fun of for being pregnant in a bar, laugh with them, it's all good.) Travelling? Carve out some extra time for yourself. See the sites. Bride give you all matching shirts? Rock it with some attitude. Do you.
Plan for your surroundings.
Texas Rehearsal to me = cowboy boots. Done and done.
On our way to the salon, so excited for our girl!
Prepare for wedding day activities. If it is gonna be hot, stay hydrated. Plan for cute yet not outrageously difficult shoes. Your body is working differently now, accept it, find some cute options and move on. Figure out in advance what you are up for...if you can.
Did I know I would be up for climbing onto a train for a photo op? Nope. but when I got there, I was. Don't be foolhardy - know your limitations, but go for what you know you can handle. Bring flats to change into. Be a responsible adult and plan for what you will need. Don't expect people to be catering to you - though I was lucky enough to be in a party who was awesome in anticipating things like ice water for the preggo, but don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it too. The last thing you want is to be the fainting pregnant girl.
Most of all, just know that you are there because it is the bride's special day! She chose you to hang with, so do it up right.
I did her eye makeup throughout college, why would today be any different?
Help pull it together. Be in the moment.
Marvel with everyone else at the fact that your friend is getting married!
And taking some beautiful photos.
And after the wedding is done, and the reception is on, dance as much as your poor feet can take and relax (hopefully with your hubby) knowing you did all you could do to make her day as special as yours was or you want yours to be.
All in all, the name of the game is balance. Do what you normally would, within reason. Be open and honest. Realize that you have limitations, but don't let the fact that you are pregnant keep you from any of the fun you could be having just because you are.
Happy Wedding Sherbs!
Wouldn't have missed it for the world.
33 weeks along
...and we are under 50 days to due date. Ack!