This morning on the radio the song "Love like Crazy" came on. It helped give me some perspective and calm some shot nerves.
Oh, you don't like country muzak/haven't heard the song? Here you go. (Or skip to lyrics below, or just scroll by all of this, you know, whatevs, you're a grown up, make your choice).
They called him crazy when they started out
Said seventeen's too young to know what loves about
They've been together fifty-eight years now
That’s crazy
He brought home sixty-seven bucks a week
He bought a little 2 bedroom house on Maple Street
Where she blessed him with six more mouths to feed
Yeah that’s crazy
Just ask him how he did it; he'll say pull up a seat
It'll only take a minute, to tell you everything
Be your best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy
They called him crazy when he quit his job
Said them home computers, boy they'll never take off
He sold his one man shop to Microsoft
They paid like crazy
Just ask him how he made it
He'll tell you faith and sweat
And the heart of a faithful woman,
Who never let him forget
Be your best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy
Always treat your woman like a lady
Never get too old to call her baby
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy
They called him crazy when they started out
They've been together fifty-eight years now
Ain't that crazy?
Here's why that song was calming to me. I finally broke down and did the actual budget of Courtney-as-a-stay-at-home-mom. And it freaked me right out.
As I said before, we can definitely afford it and this is totally a first world problem and a privilege - I totally understand that. But, it is still a shock to see what we usually spend on things (since we don't really have a constructed budget now) and to see how we will need to alter that.
Since I did this yesterday and A was on watch last night (and didn't call AGAIN, ahem husband who reads this blog - you're wife is 23 days from giving birth - might be an appropriate time to start recognizing the importance of a nightly check in phone call, ::sets soapbox aside::) I have just been savoring all of this shock by my lonesome. Well, the dog did listen to a bit, as has my super patient and super great at saving $$ officemate Cheryl.
But, this morning, as it was still tugging away at my brain, this song came on and reminded me. We will be ok.
Sure there will be sacrifices, but come on now.
I took a mental look around our home and realized what a great point we are at in our lives. We have a beautiful home, with nice furnishings and we own.it. (well, we are on our way, you know). We don't want for anything. We have been living like rock stars for the last few years (because we were totally still on the high of INCOME! We aren't students anymore! WOOO! and DINK status! Double woo!).
When I think about it logically, it makes sense that it would be a hit to go from no budget to a budget. And I know this. I also know that people have done.this.before.
The first verse of that song made me think about my grandma and grandpa, right away. They raised 7 kids together. 7! Neither of them had a college education. My grandmother worked as a secretary for a psychologist for years. My grandfather? He worked for Uniroyal tires. And not in an office. Manual labor, folks.
My handsome grandpa circa 1949.
Did I mention that when they had 5 kids they still lived in a two bedroom home? And yet, they managed. The kids thrived. They were all healthy and happy and have grown into productive adults with their own families. They started with almost nothing, and they did it.
My parents started similarly. When they were first married they lived in an apartment, with "the same orange crates" my grandparents had to keep their clothes in. No dressers, fruit crates. Or so I was told growing up. They had a card table and folding chairs. They broke open their piggy banks to pay rent sometimes, and that was with my mom working a full time and part time job and my dad going to school full time, in ROTC and working two part time jobs. Yet, then they decided to have me. Ha!
And they did it.
All in all this morning just made me think about all of the nonsense I have been stressing about. Not that money is nonsense, but seriously, what do you really need to raise a kid?
You need love and the basics. We have more than just the basics. I think know we will be fine. I think I can live without pedicures, jcrew and expensive hair salons for a while. Will my privileged little butt whine about it from time to time? Of course. I know me, and I know that I will.
But, I am gaining perspective. And something tells me that when I finally get to look into those sweet little eyes, and I gain the privilege of spending time with that tiny baby, and my husband when he actually does get time off, I will have a whole new amount of perspective.
36 weeks, 5 days along
...and I have had three little "fake" contractions today! Wee!
You'll be just fine! As a stay-at-home Navy mom, too, my husband and I have had to give up some things but are still living quite comfortably. AND I still get manicures, JCrew and nice salon visits...just not as regularly as I did before. Like you, we were living like rock stars...traveling, having nice expensive dinners all the time and it was a shock to give it all up at first. But now I hardly notice because I feel so blessed and lucky to be able to stay at home every day with my sweet girl. It's worth every (missing-because-I'm-not-working-anymore) penny! I can't imagine it any other way.
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